{"id":11835,"date":"2010-12-29T21:39:33","date_gmt":"2010-12-30T02:39:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.windturbinesyndrome.com\/static\/static\/?p=11835"},"modified":"2012-02-03T07:47:55","modified_gmt":"2012-02-03T12:47:55","slug":"hammonds-got-balls-new-york","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.windturbinesyndrome.com\/static\/2010\/hammonds-got-balls-new-york\/","title":{"rendered":"Hammond’s got balls! (New York)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u2014Calvin Luther Martin, PhD<\/a><\/p>\n

Editor’s note<\/em>: \u00a0Anyone who wishes to post this piece on a website, may do so. \u00a0It is public domain. \u00a0In fact, every article on WTS.com is public domain (if it was written by us), and you are welcome to post it as you wish.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hammond, NY. \u00a0(Full disclosure. \u00a0For decades, my family had a summer home in Hammond Township. Dark Island<\/a>, in the Thousand Islands.) As I remember, Hammond was one of the deadest towns this side of Montana. \u00a0Right up there with those almost-ghost towns in the Sand Hills of Nebraska.<\/p>\n

What passes for “downtown” is a half dozen houses, wornout Presbyterian church, feed store, and two or three derelict storefronts. \u00a0When I lived there the only traffic light was blinking—on a county road you could safely sit (literally) on when you were stupid and seventeen, and swill a six-pack with a buddy while enjoying the crickets of a warm summer evening.<\/p>\n

Such was the town I knew.<\/p>\n

Last night this bullshit town (don’t get me wrong; I adore the place) electrocuted energy giant Iberdrola<\/a>. \u00a0Right in its testicles.<\/p>\n

Testicles, really? \u00a0Spain’s smug steroid-bloated Wind Bull—the ballsiest of the ballsy.<\/p>\n

Yeah, well, last night one crappy little upstate NY town fried the bull’s machismos. \u00a0Both of ’em.<\/p>\n

How? \u00a0Want the short answer? \u00a0Brilliantly! \u00a0Hammond’s wind committee overwhelmingly voted (9 to 1)\u00a0to insist the town’s wind law must include a Residential Property Value Guarantee Agreement<\/em> (RPVG)<\/a>. \u00a0(The only member to vote “nay” was, unsurprisingly, a dead-ender with a lease. \u00a0You couldn’t make this stuff up!)<\/p>\n

Flexing its testosterone a couple weeks ago, Iberdrola blustered that any such provision would kill the entire project<\/a>. \u00a0To which the committee responded, with incredulity, “But didn’t you jokers tell us that property values are not damaged by your wind machines? \u00a0Didn’t you rapturously assure us with (horseshit<\/a>) expert studies that property value actually improves<\/span> when a township is turned into an industrial wasteland of spinning monsters pounding like freight trains through the night?<\/em>” \u00a0Plus, “Hey, we’re prepared to believe you! \u00a0If you clowns swear there’s no risk that people will flee their homes to escape your howling monsters—then for heaven’s sake you can have no quarrel with this by-your-own-admission wholly irrelevant and unnecessary precautionary clause we just wrote into our law!<\/em>”<\/p>\n

Talk about calling Big Wind’s bullshit bluff! \u00a0Way to go Hammond!<\/em> Run the bums out of town!<\/p>\n

Carpetbaggers, carnies, cons, and grifters—all of ’em. \u00a0And not even elegant about it. \u00a0(My father was a religious charlatan<\/a>. \u00a0He provided me, alas unintentionally, with the finest education in the world for sniffing out swindlers.)<\/p>\n

Okay, dear reader. \u00a0Here it is: \u00a0the text of Hammond’s RPVG<\/a>. \u00a0Download it, march this into your town meeting and insist \u00a0it be included in your wind law.<\/p>\n

Simple. \u00a0Easy. \u00a0Brilliant. \u00a0So obvious you want to weep.<\/p>\n

And when the Spanish thugs with their legal lackeys threaten to crucify your town in court, tell ’em Dr. Calvin Luther Martin and Dr. Nina Pierpont, who are proud as punch this evening to have had the privilege of living in Hammond, NY, will gleefully contribute to your town’s legal defense fund.<\/p>\n

No bull.<\/p>\n

If you’re ever in the Thousand Islands, go see the castle at Dark Island and visit Boldt Castle<\/a> and blah blah blah. \u00a0But be sure to visit Hammond. \u00a0And when you do, get out of your car, kiss the pavement—and sit by (the side of) that road and have a beer for a stupid 17-year-old on a hot July night long ago.<\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u2014Calvin Luther Martin, PhD Editor’s note: \u00a0Anyone who wishes to post this piece on a website, may do so. \u00a0It is public domain. \u00a0In fact, every article on WTS.com is public domain (if it was written by us), and you are welcome to post it as you wish. Hammond, NY. \u00a0(Full disclosure. \u00a0For decades, my family had a summer home in Hammond Township. Dark Island, in the Thousand Islands.) As I remember, Hammond was one of the deadest towns this side of Montana. \u00a0Right up there with those almost-ghost towns in the Sand Hills of Nebraska. What passes for “downtown” is a half dozen houses, wornout Presbyterian church, feed store, and two or three derelict storefronts. \u00a0When I lived there the only traffic light was blinking—on a county road you could safely sit (literally) on when you were stupid and seventeen, and swill a six-pack with a buddy while enjoying the crickets of a warm summer evening. Such was the town I knew. Last night this bullshit town (don’t get me wrong; I adore the place) electrocuted energy giant Iberdrola. \u00a0Right in its testicles. Testicles, really? \u00a0Spain’s smug steroid-bloated Wind Bull—the ballsiest of the ballsy. Yeah, well, last night one crappy little upstate NY town fried the bull’s machismos. \u00a0Both of ’em. How? \u00a0Want the short answer? \u00a0Brilliantly! \u00a0Hammond’s wind committee overwhelmingly voted (9 to 1)\u00a0to insist the town’s wind law must include a Residential Property Value Guarantee Agreement (RPVG). \u00a0(The only member to vote “nay” was, unsurprisingly, a dead-ender with a lease. \u00a0You couldn’t make this stuff up!)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[171,16],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.windturbinesyndrome.com\/static\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11835"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.windturbinesyndrome.com\/static\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.windturbinesyndrome.com\/static\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.windturbinesyndrome.com\/static\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.windturbinesyndrome.com\/static\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11835"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.windturbinesyndrome.com\/static\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11835\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.windturbinesyndrome.com\/static\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11835"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.windturbinesyndrome.com\/static\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11835"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.windturbinesyndrome.com\/static\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11835"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}